Art bell
New Time Slot - Just like the old days AND we can drink on the show
this is also our first show after the winter break
christmas
went home and my sister had to go to rehab - had christmas there - i tried to joke about meth - didn't work out
went to MEXICAN christmas - like immigrants - sit with THE MEN
also ate every part of a pig
iTouch - check email complusively
but the best best part is internet on the toilter
i saw like every holiday movie ever
- the spirit
- valykerie
- seven pounds
- slumbog millionaire
-still not benjamin button
new years
dick van dyke is getting old
Topeka
Mad Marlin - gave us his CD Wandat - highest tax rate smallest population
asked the employee 'that is a CD'
asked if we'd be on televsion
Brown v Board memorial cite NAACP stragized
CHURCH TV - which was tithing
Other
'do it for the show'
look how big it is
dream tricked me
restuarants taht are angry with you
i am having trouble not beign nice - 'haven't showered today eitehr', 'yeah well you need it'
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And in Winnipeg, Manitoba, Sydney Teerhuis, on trial for killing a man, claimed self-defense even though he admitted not only stabbing the man 68 times but having sex with the dead body. [Vancouver Sun, 12-4-08]
As the British government was poised in November to re-classify lap-dancing clubs from "entertainment" to "sexual encounter establishments" (thus imposing tougher licensing standards), the industry's trade association insisted to a Parliamentary committee that the clubs are not sexual. "(T)he entertainment may be in the form of nude ... performers, but it's not sexually stimulating," said the chairman of the Lap Dancing Association. That would be "contrary to our business plan." [The Guardian, 11-26-08]
Not My Fault: Bruce George, 20, admitted to police that he had molested a 6-year-old girl in Anchorage, Alaska, in October but said he needed to do it to acquire the courage to kill himself. He said he needed motivation for suicide by doing something that totally disgusted him. [Anchorage Daily News, 10-8-08]
Poor at Multitasking: In Britain's Manchester Crown Court in December, Imran Hussain, 32, was sentenced to eight years in prison for his DUI-related crash that killed two people in August. (Hussain was also masturbating at the time.) [BBC News, 12-8-08]
In September, after a Chinese Shandong airline flight landed safely in Zhengzhou, the engine died, and the airline was forced to enlist some of the 69 passengers to help employees push the plane to the gate. [Daily Mail (London), 9-27-08]
Willie Windsor, 54, of Phoenix has for several years lived as a full-time baby, wearing frilly dresses, diapers and bonnets, sucking on a pacifier, eating Gerber cuisine and habitually clutching a rag doll, in a home filled with oversized baby furniture. According to a long Phoenix New Times profile in June, the diaper is not just a prop. Windsor said he worked hard to learn to become incontinent, even chaining the commode shut to avoid temptation, and the reporter admitted feeling "disconcert(ed)" that Windsor might be relieving himself at the very moment he was describing his un-toilet training. Apparently, Windsor's brother, ex-wife, girlfriend and a neighbor tolerate his lifestyle (though no girlfriend has yet been willing to change his diapers). Windsor is a semi-retired singer-actor and said he's been celibate for nine years. [Phoenix New Times, 6-9-05]
Indicted for cocaine possession in Montgomery County, Ohio, in November: Mr. Dalcapone Alpaccino 20. [TheSmokingGun.com, 11- 18-08] Charged in Columbia, S.C., in November with running down her boyfriend with her car and breaking his leg: Ms. Princess Killingsworth. [WIS-TV (Columbia), 11-24-08]
Britain's association of police officers complained to the Daily Telegraph in November that bureaucratic requirements are "emasculating" law enforcement, offering as one example the Home Affairs Department's insistence that a seven-page form be submitted for any surveillance work, even if the "work" is merely observing via human eyeballs. [Daily Telegraph, 11-8-08]
And in December, the Daily Telegraph reported that 45 officers from the Lancashire county police were assigned to help install speed indicator signs but only after being sent to a two-hour class that included safety instructions on climbing a 3-foot ladder. Said a spokesman, "If we didn't do it and people were falling off ladders, we would be criticized." [Daily Telegraph, 12-22-08]
In November, a judge at Killorglin District Court in Kerry, Ireland, dismissed two DUI cases because the blood-alcohol readings were not administered properly. The suspects should have been isolated for 20 minutes before the test but had been permitted to use urinals, and the judge accepted lawyers' arguments that "steam" from the urine might have wafted into the men's noses and raised their readings. [Belfast Telegraph, 12-1-08]
Australia's Human Rights and Equal Opportunities Commission announced plans in December to create a third official gender for government identification: "intersex," for transsexuals, whether or not they have had surgery. Immediately, activists from Sex and Gender Education Australia called the proposal inadequate, demanding a fourth gender, also, for people who feel that "gender" is either "undefinable" or subject to daily changes of attitude. [Daily Telegraph (Sydney), 12-6-08]
Officials in South Africa, where government only recently came to accept the connection between HIV and AIDS after years of denial that provoked the country's epidemic of cases, revealed in December that supplies of retroviral drugs are being used recreationally as hallucinogens smoked by schoolchildren. Health officials told BBC News that the drugs are prescribed to those at risk for AIDS, but are not taken seriously by symptom-free, HIV-diagnosed South Africans who are just now starting to understand the decades-old disease. [BBC News, 12-8-08]
Might As Well Reserve Him a Death-Row Cell Right Now: According to a November sheriff's department report, an 11-year-old, Fort Pierce, Fla., boy hit his mother with a saw during an argument, lacerating her skull, and then, as she threatened to call police, offered her a $5 bribe not to. [Scripps TCPalm (Stuart, Fla.), 11-13-08]
In November, British Justice Minister Jack Straw discovered, and immediately canceled,a 10-year-old program tap dancing club for inmates at Whitemoor prison in Cambridgeshire for "workshops" in comedy. [BBC News, 11-21-08]
The Seattle Post-Intelligencer, reporting the latest of 10 lawsuits against dentist Thomas Laney, 55, found "flaws" in Washington state's medical disciplinary system, in that Laney was apparently doing "full-body cosmetic surgeries." Laney was being sued this time by a woman for allegedly botching her breast-reduction. His attorney told a reporter that negative outcomes happen, but that Laney should not be held responsible unless the patient suffers deformities that are "terribly, terribly wrong." (When an earlier patient of his died after surgery, Laney was "disciplined" with a fine and an order to get additional training.) [Seattle Post-Intelligencer, 11-9-08]
When Arien O'Connell posted the fastest time in October's Nike Women's Marathon in San Francisco, she expected of course to be declared the winner, but the shoe company apparently had promised a group of elite runners (to attract them to enter the race) that one of them would be the "winner," and consequently, first place went to a woman who ran 11 minutes behind O'Connell. After a storm of complaints, Nike reluctantly settled on calling both women "winners" and said next year it would scrap the two-tier system. [San Francisco Chronicle, 10-23-08]
One of the world's best-known strategists on the game of checkers passed away in November. Richard Fortman was Illinois state champion six times, and in the 1970s and 1980s published a seven-volume handbook on rules and tactics. Many people now considering the game would be astonished to know that, as in chess, there are masters and grandmasters, and international rankings, that experts actually study historical opening moves and endgames, and that some play, move-by-move, via the U.S. Mail. A New York Times obituary noted that Fortman played as many as 100 games simultaneously, and won games blindfolded. Until the end, according to his daughter, Fortman spent "hours each day" playing checkers online. [New York Times, 11-30-08]
Serbians, who have previously, bafflingly, constructed large, reverential public statues of martial-arts actor Bruce Lee and movie characters Tarzan and Rocky Balboa, built one of reggae musician Bob Marley in August in the village of Banatski Sokolac. Also planned was a statue of British singer Samantha Fox, but that project fell through. One Serbian artist who helped raise money for the Rocky statue told The New York Times, "My generation can't find role models (at home) so we have to look elsewhere." [New York Times, 8-25-08]
An administrative court in Sweden overruled a government agency in November, thus requiring that the Madonna of Orgasm Church founded by artist Carlos Bebeacua be registered as a legitimate religious community. "The orgasm is God," he said, and "should be worshipped" as a "metaphor of life." It should not be limited to ejaculation but can be taught "through art or by looking at a landscape and thinking, 'Wow!'" Bebeacua already claims "a few hundred" followers. [The Local (Stockholm), 11-19-08]
The streak for the longest continuous chanting (already noted twice in the Guinness Book of World Records) is still active, according to an August Indo-Asian News Service dispatch from Ahmedabad, India. Clerics at the Shri Bala Hanuman temple started intoning "Shri Ram Jay Ram Jay Jay Ram" on Aug. 1, 1964 (more than 23 million minutes ago). [Daily News & Analysis (Mumbai) Indo-Asian News Service, 8-2-08]
It seemed like an obviously good decision by the Toronto Transit Commission in 2006 to curb counterfeiting of its aluminum coins and paper tickets by phasing in larger metal-alloy tokens as substitutes. By earlier this year, when the tokens had completely replaced the lighter coins and paper, the commission realized that its fare-sorting room was beginning to crack at the foundations because the tokens to be counted weigh about 60 tons more than pre-2006 aluminum and paper. A commission spokesman told the Toronto Sun in November that engineers were working on a solution. [Toronto Sun, 11-18-08]
In September, Atlanta-area educator Phillippia Faust, working on a $455,000 annual federal sex education grant, offered a $10,000 contest prize for an engaged local couple who had so far abstained from sex and would continue to do so until the wedding. (Any sex would be "risky behavior," said Faust, but worst of all would be living together before marriage, which is a "set up for the kill.") However, despite the large population of the area, she had no takers, and as the deadline approached, she told The Atlanta Journal-Constitution that she even considered opening the contest to engaged couples who had had sex but regretted it.[Atlanta Journal-Constitution, 10-23-08, 11-8-08]
In a recent report of DUI excuses in the Swedish newspaper Nerikes Allehanda, a 56-year-old woman had asserted that, though she had been drinking, her driving was not affected because she had remembered to keep one eye closed
For 15 years, Eduardo Arrocha, 46, was different from us, as "Eak the Geek," the "Pain-Proof Man" at New York's Coney Island Sideshow, where he lay on nails, walked on glass, ate lightbulbs, and put his tongue in a mousetrap.for a spot in the class at Thomas M. Cooley Law School in Lansing, Mich., where he is in his second year ("from one freak show to another," he said, "it's the most bizarre thing I've ever done in my life"). Job interviews may be tough because a three-piece suit will hide only his chest-to-toe tattoos; recruiters can't miss the stars and planets that cover his face. [Bizarre Magazine, October 2008; Los Angeles Times, 9-4-07]
British Muslim convert Nicky Reilly, 22, pleaded guilty in October in Exeter, England, to attempted terrorism for detonating a homemade nail bomb in the Giraffe restaurant. The plan failed when Reilly triggered the bomb in the men's room, intending to take it into the dining area, but then could not unlock the men's room door to get out. (His lawyer called him perhaps the "least cunning" person ever to be charged with terrorism in Britain.) [Reuters, 11-22-08]
In Toronto in March 1994, Sajid Rhatti, then 23, and his 20-year-old wife brawled over whether Katey Sagal, who plays Peg Bundy on the "Married with Children" TV show, is prettier than Christina Applegate, who plays her daughter. First, the wife slashed Rhatti in the groin with a wine bottle as they scuffled, but, remorseful, she dressed his wounds, and the couple sat down again to watch a second episode of the show. Moments later, the brawl erupted again, and Rhatti, who suffered a broken arm and shoulder, stabbed his wife in the chest, back, and legs before the couple begged neighbors to call an ambulance. [Edmonton Journal-Canadian Press 3-18-94]
A group of recently published cookbooks touting imaginative dishes served by world-renowned chefs includes Ferran Adria's volume on just his everyday fare at the world's top-rated elBulli in Spain. Probably too complex for home cooking are the parmesan ice cream sandwiches, quail eggs with crispy caramel coating, calamari tube ravioli with coconut gel, and especially the preserved tuna-oil air (to create foam).
Latest Off-Label Uses of Viagra: Britain's The Sun reported in November that Calvin Muteesa, 2, of South London has been forced to take Viagra four times a day since he was 3 months old to stave off a potentially fatal case of pulmonary arterial hypertension. [The Sun, 11-21-08]
In October, ABC News profiled a 6-year-old boy with a rare coordination disorder called Angelman syndrome, which makes the afflicted seem stiff and jerky, but which also fosters a cheerful, gregarious (though non-verbal) personality, leading the disorder to be known as the "happy puppet syndrome." Seizures are a consequence, but so is excessive laughter, which is a major hindrance to early diagnosis, according to a pediatrics professor. [ABC News, 10-22-08]
Saskatchewan physician John Schneeberger, then 31, implanted a thin, 6-inch tube of someone else's blood in his own arm in order to beat a DNA test after two female patients had accused him of rape. He cut open his bicep, inserted the tube, and pushed it down to the crook of the arm from which blood is usually drawn. Thus, "his" DNA didn't match the rapist's, and the cases were closed. However, one victim later hired a private detective, who exposed the scam, and Schneeberger was convicted in 1999 (though he maintained that he was forced into the deception because someone had framed him by breaking into his house and stealing a used condom). (Update: Schneeberger served four years in prison and was deported to his native South Africa.) [National Post, 9-29-99]
